Marriage proposal of a freelancer

Hi single women,
I am an expert family man having 3 years of practical experience in family life also having a kid. I am skilled at doing bazaar, buying female products, living father-in-law house, making fun and quarreling with wife, struggling with poverty also having the experience of burying a wife in the graveyard.
I have no wife right now so I am looking for another one. Your responsibility is to be the mother of my son and my responsibility is to make you happy. The family is a theater where you will hate most of the scene but can’t leave the play. Don’t mind I will be with you to make the things positive.
You may be interviewed by some other guys who haven’t any tested experience in the battlefield of family life but my peculiarity is- I am experienced here. I make sure that I will do the best things to make you happy in this world. If you feel interested, let me know.
Best regards,
It’s me.
N.B.- It’s a saying of my broken heart but I have shared this here just for making fun, nothing else.